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Tickets will be held at the Box Office for collection prior to the performance.


On Our Way To Lisbon

Isosceles Theatre presents
By Patrick Prior
With Pat Abernethy and Dave Marsden
Directed by Jim Dunk

Friday 13th September 7.30pm

£12/£10/£5 U26s + £1 Booking Fee

“… a two-man play with a cast of thousands… physical theatre at its best… I felt the entirely enthusiastic audience could happily have stayed for more.” MAIL ON SUNDAY

Put on your scarves, dust off your passport and join the lads as they watch the Celtic boys steam-roll over the best teams in Europe to become the immortal Lisbon Lions - you don't need to be a football fan, just a lover of fabulous entertainment that puts a smile on your face!

This spectacular 2-man play, ON OUR WAY TO LISBON, celebrates Glasgow Celtic’s 1967 European Cup win, one of the great sporting legends of all time. Featuring just two actors, Pat Abernethy and Dave Marsden, they play everything - players, crowds, commentators and managers, in a masterpiece of story-telling. Including some hilarious slow-motion sequences, the glory of the famous victory contrasts against the drab reality of their Glasgow existence… was Celtic’s victory the best moment of their lives? Theatre of dreams indeed.

The show has obvious appeal for football fans, but for those with little interest in the game, it stands as a stunning piece of theatre which has thrilled audiences as far away as the USA, gathering in its path rave reviews, standing ovations and awards. Just come and enjoy!

“A sublime mix of physical theatre, conversational dialogue and hilarious impersonation – the two actors never let up the pace until the explosion of that final whistle… excellent writing, expertly performed.” THE STAGE

  • U26s (£5.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • Concession (£10.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • General Admission (£12.00) + £1.00 Surcharge

Date: 13/09/2019

Budapest Café Orchestra

Budapest Café Orchestra
Thursday 19th September 7.30pm
£13/£5 U26s + Booking Fee

“… the finest purveyors of Eastern European gypsy music this side of a Lada scrap heap…” THE TIMES

Led by the celebrated jazz violin superstar, Christian Garrick, The Budapest Café Orchestra create an awesome alchemy of sound characteristic of much bigger ensembles – this band really delivers!

Two of the country’s most revered international soloists are nestled at the heart of proceedings… accordionist exemplar, Eddie Hession, who’s accompanied the likes of Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and Chris Rea, and Christian Garrick, whose CV boasts partnerships with Dame Cleo Laine & Sir John Dankworth and Nigel Kennedy, to name but a few.

One of Russia's most enigmatic and masterly musical exports, Adrian Zolotuhin, plays the sultan and a variety of stringed instruments, whilst veteran bass-man, Kelly Cantlon, lays down the bass notes – Kelly found fame in the late 60s as a Vagabond with northern soul sensations Jimmy James and the Vagabonds.

Great stuff!

  • U26s (£5.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • General Admission (£13.00) + £1.00 Surcharge

Date: 19/09/2019

Hazel Findlay - The Climb Within

Speakers from the Edge present
Hazel Findlay – The Climb Within
Wednesday 25th September 7.30pm
£17.50 (includes booking fee)

One of the best young climbers in the world, Hazel Findlay presents a talk about her life and climbs, exploring how we can use a sport such as climbing to put us in hard places that push us beyond what we thought we were capable of and how, in this struggle, we can discover the way our minds work and how to ‘hack’ them, so that we can enjoy the experiences we want without being limited by fear.

Hazel Findlay has been climbing for 20 of her 28 years, and started out trad climbing (with climbing ropes) on the limestone sea cliffs of Pembrokeshire. She dabbled in competition climbing, having been the British junior champion six times, but at 16 yrs old decided to give it up to focus on climbing on rock - especially trad climbing, her main passion.

Hazel was the first British woman to climb a trad route at E9, a technically challenging route, and repointed (free climb) El Capitan in Yosemite, which she has now done four times, and many other challenging climbs.

Hazel is particularly interested in the mental challenge that climbing evokes.

Price: General Admission £17.50

Date: 25/09/2019

The Stornoway Way

Dogstar Theatre Company in association with An Lanntair
Directed by Matthew Zajac
Friday 18th October 7.30pm
£12/£10/£5 + £1 Booking Fee

“The best Scottish book since Trainspotting…full of wisdom, jokes, poetic language and mind-burning imagery.”  THE SCOTSMAN

Adapted by Kevin MacNeil from his best-selling novel, THE STORNOWAY WAY is a musical tragicomedy full of wit and wisdom, both a romantic evocation and a scabrous critique of the Isle of Lewis, “a great and symbolic chip off Scotland’s shoulder!”

Birnam Arts | The Stornoway Way | Friday 18th October

The play tells the story of Roman Stornoway, a struggling musician, and his best friend Eilidh. Both are disaffected underachievers, who use alcohol to fuel and delay their dreams of escape from the island.  They eventually manage to make their way to the city, where Roman is smitten by the mysterious Hungarian student Eva.

With a variety of voices from Lewis and a musical soundtrack featuring original and traditional songs in Gaelic and English, The Stornoway Way is irreverent, witty and honest, a bittersweet theatrical romcom, twisted, squeezed out and hungover, a story about the search for the ideal, the desire for happiness and the struggle to come to terms with who you are, versus who you want to be.

“Does for the Western Isles what Rankin and Welsh did for Edinburgh.”  THE TIMES

  • U26s (£5.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • Concession (£10.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • General Admission (£12.00) + £1.00 Surcharge

Date: 18/10/2019

Alan Carr: Work In Progress

Alan Carr: Work in Progress Tour (SOLD OUT)
Plus Support
Thursday 24th October
Doors 7.30pm
Age 14+, U16s to be accompanied
Tickets £18 + booking fees


Join Alan Carr for a night of work-in-progress comedy, along with support act, Kelly Convey - this is your chance to see Alan trying out new material in this work-in-progress tour!Carr’s unique style of humour and effortless stage presence has made him one of Britain’s most successful and treasured comedians.

With sixteen series of Channel 4’s Chatty Man under his belt, Alan has won a multitude of awards, including the publicly voted National Television Award for Best Chat Show Host, a prestigious BAFTA and a British Comedy Award for Best Comedy Entertainment Personality.

Kelly Convey is a So You Think You’re Funny Finalist and she was voted by The Metro as ‘1 of 9 Hilarious Women to Look Out for’ in 2017.

Book quickly – tickets will fly!

Price: General Admission £20.00

Date: 24/10/2019


Tragic Carpet Theatre presents
With Freda O’Byrne
Written by Sylvia Dow
Marionettes by Lyndie Wright
Friday 1st November 7.30pm
£12/£10/£5 U26s + £1 Booking Fee


Four coordinated terrorist attacks on the United States – the first since Pearl Harbour – set in motion a response that quickly became known as The War On Terror.
Tragic Carpet’s radical new work, RENDITION, is based on the Rendition Project, set up to monitor abuses that followed the aftermath of 9/11, and tells  the story of one man’s nightmare experience as the first suspect to be taken into the CIA’s detention programme.

First performed at Hidden Door Festival in May 2017 and then at Manipulate Snapshots at the Traverse in February 2018, Rendition uses an innovative mix of puppetry, music, soundscapes, visual theatre and installation art – these puppets are harrowing works of art, capable of producing deep emotions in the watching audience. This play will live with you, deep within your heart.

Q&A session will follow the performance.

 “...a profoundly moving piece of total theatre… beautiful, exquisitely made show driven by a quiet but fierce sense of humanity and compassion” JOYCE MCMILLAN, THE SCOTSMAN ★★★★

  • U26s (£5.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • Concession (£10.00) + £1.00 Surcharge
  • General Admission (£12.00) + £1.00 Surcharge

Date: 01/11/2019

The Voyage of the Hector: Music Weekend

The Voyage of the Hector Music Weekend
With John Somerville
Sat/Sun 2nd/3rd November
£75 plus £1 Booking Fee

The Hector Ensemble weekend first came to Birnam Arts last year and was so successful that we’re running it again. This ensemble weekend is a wonderful opportunity for amateur and intermediate musicians to experience the thrill of playing together in a giant instrumental Scottish folk orchestra.

Based around a suite of music depicting the legendary 1773 voyage from Ullapool to Nova Scotia, of the ship Hector, composed by leading Scottish accordionist, Royal Conservatoire of Scotland lecturer, composer and band musician (Treacherous Orchestra, Salsa Celtica and a host of other bands) John Somerville, you’ll be expertly guided through the arrangements and parts written for Fiddle, Border Pipes, Whistle, Guitar, Piano, Accordion and Clarsach/Harp, but other instruments are welcome. A reasonably good degree of sight reading, or ability to play easily by ear, is necessary.  

A CD and tune book of all the written parts can be purchased from Feis Rois at https://feisrois.bandcamp.com or directly from John by emailing:  [email protected]

Don’t miss this opportunity to be part of an engaging, fun and interactive musical experience!
A soup and sandwich lunch is included in the day: Please book well ahead for this workshop.

Price: General Admission £75.00

Date: 02/11/2019

Scouting for Girls

Beyond presents
Scouting for Girls
Thursday 14th November
Doors 7.30pm
Ages 14+, U16s to be accompanied by an adult
£23 + Booking Fees

During their last tour SCOUTING FOR GIRLS played to more people than they’ve ever played to before - they were celebrating ten years since they first released their 2007 self-titled debut, a record that went on to become triple platinum and birthed the generation-bridging anthems of She’s So LovelyElvis Ain’t Dead and Heartbeat. 2017’s accompanying Ten Add Ten record bundled that now-classic debut with ten new songs, proving that the band’s joy, energy and ability to write an instantly catchy chorus hadn’t gone anywhere.

“We had such a huge age range across the audience for that tour, from kids to people who’ve grown up listening to us,” explains vocalist Roy Stride. “It was such a lovely feeling. It almost feels like you’re playing to family. It was actually more fun than we’ve ever had before, but I find that with the band. The longer it goes on, the more fun it becomes.”

It was a chance to celebrate the journey they’ve been on, with people who’ve been on it as well. “Every time we do a tour, it’s special because we only do it every two or three years. It’s almost like a reunion, getting back together with a load of old friends.” Scouting For Girls didn’t need to remind people who they were though: they’re a British institution.

In the decade since ‘Scouting For Girls’, the band have released Everybody Wants To Be On TV (2010), The Light Between Us (2012), and Still Thinking About You (2015) plus the mega hit single This Ain’t A Love Song. They’ve picked up nominations for four Brits, an Ivor Novello and played everywhere from a sold out Wembley Arena to countless festival stages. Last year they released England I Still Believe as a cheeky, unofficial World Cup anthem, which is a very Scouting For Girls thing to do.

Price: General Admission £23.00

Date: 14/11/2019

Chris Difford: Up The Junction Tour

Chris Difford
Up the Junction Tour
Saturday 14th March
Ages 14+


sometimes I do gigs on my own, sometimes I do them with a band called SQUEEZE

 CHRIS DIFFORD is a rare breed, co-founder of SQUEEZE, Grammy nominated and double Ivor Novello Award winning lyricist, who has brought us characters and sketches from everyday life, and has successfully turned the mundane into the beautiful, the urbane into the exquisite for over 40 years.

With his collaborator, Squeeze co-founder Glenn Tilbrook, Chris has written some of the most enduring and best-loved songs of our time such as Up The Junction, Cool For Cats and Labelled With Love, Tempted and many others. Squeeze returned with a new album The Knowledge in October 2017, followed by extensive world-wide touring into 2018.

Apart from this extensive UK solo gig tour, setting aside Squeeze, Chris also hosts song-writing retreats, and has done so for over 25 years, some in prisons, some in rehabs, but mostly in Somerset with the Buddy Holly Foundation. He is one of the country's most respected songwriters and has co-written with a host of musicians and performers that reads like a veritable who's who of the industry.

Enjoy, enjoy!!

Price: General £16.00

Date: 14/03/2020


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